Bonus!

I admit...i can almost admit it to myself....We have a match! (pretty much I think). I'm on the verge of panic attack half the day and most of the night.

Any way...our emom is near enough that we don't have to fly!! YAY!! I'm so very excited about that. I was not at all excited about taking a newborn on a giant germ tube.

Another bonus is that we can finalize before we leave the emom's state. Which leads us to the biggest bonus! We won't have to deal with our dipshit social worker once we get home!! Thank you Jesus. Unfortunately, I will be seeing her next week to update the homestudy. I don't know if I should take the entire day off since there's no way to tell when she might show up (despite making an appointment).

I'm still pretty much in disbelief. We haven't really told anyone IRL. My two best friends know because I was freaking out since Mr H is gone. The girls at work know because we work in an open office and i'm constantly on the phone with our lawyer, the lawyer we hired for her, and the facilitator. It's been crazy. I can only imagine it's going to get crazier. It's really hard for me to enjoy this and allow it to be real....no matter how it turns out.

Well then

Nothing seems to be coming of the text baby situation. I got a little excited there for a minute. If nothing else it goaded me into some action and made me realize that despite what I tell myself I really do still want a baby.

So there you have it. Still want a kid. Still don't have one. Perhaps this will cause me to be proactive and make some pass along cards. I should probably look and see when I need to update the homestudy. I know that's coming up shortly. Dealing with our dippy social worker is sure to put me in the loveliest of moods.

We're back

We are back from our family vacation to Yellowstone and Glacier. It was a heckuva drive and a great trip. I was really worried about that much non-stop family time but it worked out ok. The kids go to their mother tomorrow night until the middle of August.

On the adoption front: I got a corrected notarized copy of the homestudy today.

I/we HAVE to get out birthmother letter/profile done this week. We leave on another trip next Saturday and I want to be active before we leave.

Against my better judgement I already wrote a birthmother letter before I had specific criteria. I'm very happy with the letter and very grateful to Karen for all her insight. Thank you!!!! However, it's not what the facilitator wants to it's practically back to the beginning.

Looks like lots has been happening while we were gone...I'm trying to get caught up with all you! I missed you and thought about you lots!

Home Study - Practically compete!

We got the draft of our homestudy today. She is recommending us to adopt! Judging from the report we're pretty great people lol!

I'm glad it came before we leave on vacation on Saturday. At least this won't be another hold up! We just need to make a few factual corrections/additions and point out grammatical errors and we are on our way. FINALLY something goes right!

We have decided to get a different lawyer....whew!

The facilitator called last night to let us know she got our paperwork (and check). She would be reviewing the draft of our letter after she got off the phone. She also said she would call tonight to let us know feedback as well as what our next steps are. Are you kidding me? Did I finally pick someone competent? proactive? professional? I about fell over!

Are you kidding me??

I just saw a story on the evening news about a HORSE that got pregnant with twins via surrogate IVF!! Are you kidding me?? For some reason that really sets me off!

in other news - i sent my fingerprints off again today. So now we wait. I need to send the contract, our photograph and a HUGE check to the facilitator, too. I keep delaying that for some reason as well.

Mr. H's birthday is tomorrow. He'll celebrate it by going to Tucson on business for 3 days. Ugh!

Annoyed II

I just got my fingerprints redone. After my 3rd trip to the Sheriff's office today. I got home. I'm filling out the card. I realize I FORGOT TO HAVE THE DEPUTY SIGN THE FING THING!! I can't believe it (actually I can). He's done for the day. I'll have to go back next week. It's a smalltown he should remember that he did it. Otherwise I'll probably have to do it AGAIN which means I'll have to get another set of cards from the SW which will mean another delay! UGH!!

We've Decided (I think)

We're going with a facilitator. We just don't want to handle the screening/find ourselves. Of course, that means we now have more paperwork to fill out.

We are done with our SW except for waiting for the written report. We have verbal approval from her at this point. It doesn't appear that she used any references other than the ones we gave her. We had another almost 2.5 hour meeting with her last Friday to go over the TWO questions she forgot to ask us. We are not obligated to use her for post placement :-)

I went berserk at garage sales again last week. I got 5 or 6 outfits, what to expect the first year, and two huge baby gates - one of which has never been out of the box - all for under $10! My sister has the same baby gate and says one of them was $100!

Talked to a Birthmom!

Omgosh! I just talked to a birthmom on IM! It was surreal. What do you say? what do you ask? We chatted a little bit. She asked if we were with an agency or what. I explained to her what a homestudy is all about. Then she goes, "I'm going to be honest. The reason I chose adoption over termination is financial."

I replied, "Well, I'm new at this but I know our state only allows certain expenses to be paid".

She replies, "Ok, well I gotta get going."

And she was gone!

I don't feel bad about it. I'm actually excited because it means the things I've done to get us "out there" are working! I mean who know if this chick is actually pregnant or anything else but it give me hope!

Now, onto my interview. It was fine. Actually it was a waste of my time. Almost three hours of it. We have to meet with her once more. She has some things she needs to discuss with both of us. Plus she wondered why I hadn't given her the kids' medical statements. Um, maybe because you never asked for them? So now we have to get that done, too.

The next step is the reference letters. She's going to send them to some of the people we suggested but she likes to find people on her own, too. She wouldn't tell me what questions she was asking in the letter. I inquired what if they don't get returned. Will she let me know so I can remind them? Nope. Not telling me who she sends them to.

We should be done with all this stuff by the end of may. yay!

My Interview - I

My interview is today at 2. I'm going to her so at least I know I will be on time. I asked Mr H if I should be nervous. He said no I should be careful and patient.

"Careful?" I asked.

"Yes" he replied, "you know she's going to ask some crazy stuff and irritate you and you're going to need to remain calm". LOL. Does he know me or what?

I will be so glad when this is over and we can move onto the next thing.

Kids' Interviews III

SO I emailed the SW to see if I needed to send her a check. She said I could just payer her for all of them ($100 each btw) when I do mine on Tuesday. I'm going to her for mine so at least I know what time I'll be there!

She did say in the email that the kids "were nice young people". That gives me much hope as this portion of the homestudy is what I was most freaked out about. I will need to pray for patience and the holding of my tongue on Tuesday because I KNOW she's going to say some crazy stuff that is going to set me off. Speaking of which.....

WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE????

First, I went to a conference yesterday for Continuing education hours I need for a certification. Well it was only 6 hours of CEU's and I need 10. I've emailed and attempted to call a variety of people to confirm this information. When I get there (after a 2.5 hour drive for a conference that starts at 7:45 a.m.) I find that unless I am working in the field as the director - not as an assistant - I don't need the CEU's. I also find out that since I took the initial certifying class I wouldn't EVER need to take it again even if I don't maintain the CEU's yearly. I was mad mad mad! Why couldn't anyone give me this answer ahead of time?

Second, there was a woman in my certifying class that none of us could stand. She passed me on the interstate. I thought "oh crap". I get to the conference. I set my things down (there are about 125 ppl attending this thing - lots of places to sit), I run to the restroom. When I come back guess who is seated 2 spots over from me? Yup, HER! (disclaimer - this doesn't really fall under the what's wrong with people label)(but it was still annoying!)

Third, as the conference begins the woman in front of me and one spot over is giving herself a manicure. We're talking clipping, filing, and painting!

Fourth, the woman in front of me starts brushing out her hair in close proximity to my water glass! Throughout the day she continues to mess with it. Fluffing it, flipping it, and trying to get it to stay in her barrette! Repulsive!

Fifth, the 4 women behind me were in a continuous yapfest! Shut up! I can't hear the speaker! I tell the guy next to me "I feel like I'm schizophrenic!"

The day ended well though. It was a gorgeous 85 degrees out. My sister and 3 year old nephew drove to meet me after the meeting. We went and played in the park. Then we went for a ride in my "great big truck" and got ice cream. My nephew was disappointed that we couldn't "peal out" in town like we did at grandpa and grandma's farm last time he was home.

I'm sooooo ready to be a mom!

Kids' Interviews II - OMGOSH~

I cannot believe it! The SW just up and left when she was done talking to C. I had taken N to soccer practice. I was gone 15 min. I yelled hello when I got back . I put stuff on the dining room table (they were in the Living room). I THREW the dog toy into the living room. The dog chased after it.

20 min later I hear the front door shut. I thought, hmm maybe she and C went outside so C could show her something. About 5 min later I think it's awfully quiet. I go and check. C's shoes are here. The SW's car is gone. She just left. I didn't pay her. We didn't reconfirm my appt for next week. I go talk to C. They didn't think I was here so she left.

I cannot believe it!

Kids' interviews I

So this time the SW shows up at 1:10 proclaiming, "At least I'm not early this time! I'm soooo sorry for being late". Um yeah. The appointment is at 1:30. The kids aren't home from school yet.

I'm thinking we're going to have the homestudy reviewed by someone to make sure it actually covers what it is supposed to and our future child isn't taken away because she's a dingbat.

Mr H's interview

Mr H had his interview today. Mine is next week. Our SW continues to be a crazy. Evidently she has an endless supply of cleft-palated, club footed rape produced babies. UGH!! I may be wrong but isn't the reason we can check our preferences of what we want and don't want is because they are OUR PREFERENCES?? Does she think we are taking or making these decisions lightly?

His interview took almost 2.5 hours. He said it was tedious and grueling. Evidently she offhandedly mentioned that our FBI checks came back clear. I'd think something like that would warrant an email.

She interviews the kids here tomorrow. I'm having issues with the teens again and am scared to death they are going to sink this ship before it even sails.

Are you Kidding me??

SO today's the day of the homestudy. The kids are off school for Good Friday. The boy has Flu Strain A, I have the end of sinus infection. Mr H made the wise decision to stay home and help me finish getting ready for the visit.

I got lunch going EARLY so I could have it served and cleaned up before the 12:30 pm visit. As soon as I got those two things accomplished I would jump in the shower.

11:35 we're sitting down to lunch. I think I hear my phone ringing in my spotless boudoir. I miss the call. I call my voicemail. It's the SW, "Hi I'm running a little late. I'm so sorry. I just outside of town". WTF?? Are you kidding me?

Mr H and I jump up. Instruct the kids to let her in. We run into the bedroom. We're ripping off our clothes (like they haven't been ripped off in years). We're both still in our grungies. Neither of us have showered let alone brushed our teeth. I've spent the morning cooking, vacuuming and doing dishes! We barely got dressed and brushed before she was here.

She spent 10 minutes looking at the house. She spent 2 hours wandering off the subject at hand. She looked at our insurance policies and updated debts and assets. We set up the formal interviews for the four of us. She said she didn't see any sort of problem so far. Then she remembered to ask what kind of child we would consider.

Then my tongue started to bleed. I was biting it so hard. I said I wanted 0-3 months. She tells us it's virtually impossible to adopt an infant. She's seen the statistics. We tell her we aren't interested in a child that is a product of rape or incest. She asks, "why not rape?" I give her my reasons. She proceeds to tell us to think about it. At this point I start losing my hearing I'm getting so pissed off. I do hear some phrase that ends "all men would rape given the chance" or whatever that quote/line of thinking is from 50 years ago. In my notes I have written, "pissing me off!" I ask how many rape babies she's placed. She says lots in 35 years. I say "how many is lots? 10? 20? 50?" She replies, "Oh way more than that."

What a day. What a dingbat. I've checked there's no complaints against her. She is (or has been) at one time very highly regarded. I just wanted to knock her wig off.

Oh yes, she's also warned me of the dangers of the Internet.


I can't remember the other idiotic stuff she said.

Individual interviews start next week!

From one stress to another

Yesterday I failed my professional licensing exam. Friday is our homestudy safety/meet the kids visit. Today Merry Maids arrived. I had them clean everything except our bedroom and the kids' rooms. I had the kids work on that over the weekend.

I've spent today working on our adoption website/birth mother letter/profile and in between cleaning our DISGUSTING bedroom. I have no idea why my dog is NOT bald! The dust oh my gosh the dust. It's nauseating. I have one of those bagless vacuums. I grew up in the 80's GAG ME WITH A SPOON! I just don't think I can vacuum any more tonight.

Oh and I got to go to the bank and pull out our insurance policies and mortgage agreement for the SW to look at.

Then I looked at the wall coming down from the upstairs. Grubby hand prints of teenagers. Too bad I don't have time to repaint it. I hate to paint. Plus it's in the foyer so the wall is like 20' high (only painting part of it would look like crap)(I mean worse crap than it currently does).

Does everyone get this psycho before the first home visit??

I guess some people must be bad...

Here's the email I got from our SW today:

"Just wanted to let you know that the Child Abuse and Division of Criminal Records checks are back already! Can't believe it - you all must have an angel on your shoulders. The FBI checks take longer but I can proceed as long as I have the ones that have come in. See you the 10th!"

Woo hoo! We're one tiny step closer.

It's a Date

Our first home visit is scheduled for April 10th at 12:30. The kids don't have school since it is good Friday but the Boy has a soccer game that afternoon. The SW is going to do the safety inspection and meet the kids so that they know her a little bit before she has to interview them. I could have scheduled it sooner but I have my licensing exam (BIG DEAL) test on the 7th and need to concentrate on studying first.

We had callbacks from the references provided by the facilitator we're considering when we returned home. Mr. H talked with one of them. They had glowing reports about the facilitator. They had been trying to adopt for a long time. 1st through an attorney, then through a Christian agency ( I think it was for 2 -3 years) then finally with the facilitator. Within 3 months they had a baby in their arms! I realize that's an anomaly but it continues the good feeling I have about this lady and her company.

FBI work your Magic!

We're still traveling - we should be home tonight. I emailed our SW to make sure she got our paperwork (as if the delivery confirmation from the USPS wasn't enough). She did and said she'd sent off our background checks! Woo hoo! Plus she didn't make any other comments about anything else in there so I'm guessing that means it was ok.

The rest of our week is crummy/crazy busy and so is the SW's. Mr H will be home til Wed when he has to go to Vegas for work (poor thing).

We're going to try to schedule the first visit for next week. things are progressing!

In the Mail

The homestudy application/paperwork/fingerprints goes in the mail in the morning.

Until today it had gone pretty smoothly.

Mr H and the kids getting fingerprinted required 2 trips to the sherriff's office. Plus Mr H going back in two more times after coming home. UGH!

Then I got a huge freakin' paper cut sealing the stinking envelope AND by then the post office was closed.

so now we wait.

Overly Sensitive?

I went and got my fingerprints done today. It was easy! I couldn't believe it. It only took about 10 minutes and cost $5 bucks. It's all done on a scan machine so there were no worries about smudges or smears.

I had a nice chat with the Officer. As we got done I commented that Mr. H and the kids would need to come in yet. He said one time there was a family he printed that was the mom, dad, and four or 5 kids they were adopting.

Then he said, "We just did it the old fashioned way."

And I replied acidly, "Well we tried but I didn't work."

"I meant the fingerprinting. We did it with ink."

I felt myself turning a little red. Sensitive anyone??