I was awake most of last night. I would almost be asleep and then I would think of something about the adoption and then it would be over. The main thing that kept me awake is that I don't have any clue about baby names. I had a couple I liked but I couldn't think of them last night (at 2 am). So then I kind of freaked out. A sampling:
"how can I possibly be a good mom if I can't remember what I wanted to name the baby?"
"why does it even matter it's not like we're ever going to get a baby anyway"
"hold up dipshit! The power of positive thinking, remember?"
"You're going to get a baby and you're going to pass the test"
"Why dn't you quit pissing and moaning! You haven't been waiting very long! Have some compassion for your friends!"
....and on and on and on. Then once I DID get to sleep I had another crazy dream! For weeks now I've been having very vivid crazy ass dreams! Last night I was Bridget - from the original Girls.Next.Door. Hef wanted me to give him one last "hummer" before I moved out. He was all naked and sitting at my desk - that's right we weren't even living in the mansion we were living here! I begged off saying I'd just put a peppermint in my mouth. Luckily - and this is hard to say as an insomniac - I woke up right then!
I gotta figure out what I ate before I went to bed and not do it again!
Social workers a kind of nice
8 years ago