Heart Sick

I knew it was going to happen at some point. I just knew.

Over the weekend I got a FB from MC asking for money. They "have no one else to turn to". They wanted to borrow $100 until they get their tax refund.

Mr H was gone. I decided to ignore it. I was (and still am) nauseous about it.

Thank God our adoption is final. I can't imagine the panic I would be feeling if it weren't.

Hours later I got a text from the birthfather asking if I got the FB message.

It's almost a week later. I haven't heard anything else from them.

They entrusted me with their child for life. How can I say no? But how could I possibly say yes?

Have any of you been in this situation? What would you do? How would you react?

A First!

Somebody slept through the night for the first time!! Well, it was 2 nights ago because he did it again last night!

We put him down (gosh I hate that phrase)(i grew up on a farm - there "putting down" is NOT good!). So we put him to bed at 830pm-ish and he slept until 6 am the next morning! He did it again last night. You'd think I'd have gotten a good night's sleep but the opposite is true. I kept waking up wondering why he wasn't waking up. And if he wasn't waking up was he still alive??

He was :-)

He's four months tomorrow.

It appears (from FB) that his birthparents got married. They've been together for a long time but they seem to have a love/hate relationship. I hope it works out.

I've been thinking alot about a second child. The thought of going through all the paperwork (and expense) is too much. I wonder if that will change as we get further away (and once we get our tax credit). Things are tight right now.

Mr H calls the baby "Little One" but he's calling the dog that, too. It makes me laugh!

Reflections

As I held Heath today feeding him I was overwhelmed with waves of love. Love for the sweet little, slobbery round headed fellow clutching the front of my shirt and my pinky who was making contented sighs as he gulped down his bottle.. For his birthmom MC who I think about daily and follow on FB. She has so many good things going in her life right now. I'm very happy for her yet sad that she's missing out on all the smiles and coos, and slobbery gummy laughs of our son.

Soon he will be 4 months old. The Dr said then we can start him on cereal with his formula. I can't imagine. He's growing up so very very fast. I love this smiley happy stage of his life. I've learned though that leaning him in for a kiss can quickly get my covered in spit up and other stinky goo.

Adoption is such a weird and wonderful thing. I'm so glad we have him. I know how much I love him. I can't imagine him not being here and being a part of our lives. I can't imagine how MC and C must feel with him gone.

His birth certificate came. We are listed as his parents. It's his original birth certificate. I'd expected that we'd get an original with their names and then have to get an amended one. Apparently, that's not how it works in their state.

Getting a SS # so far has been a nightmare. Part of it is because the adoption is already finalized. Now I have to get copies of his medical records to prove he's alive. Having him
with me doesn't count. Nor does his birth certificate count as an id. The SS guy asked what I had as an id for him. Hello!! He's 15 weeks old. It's not like he's driving. I'm going to try it again on his four month dr appointment. Looks like I'll be taking the day off.

3 months old!

He smiles til the preflash goes...then i get this grumpy look!

They're getting used to each other! I call this "Two Poopers on the Couch"

I love this hat! He's not really ever very grouchy, though!

Heath was not too sure about his first bath fully in the sink. He had been just laying him on one of those giant sponge things and scrubbing him off that way. He's longer than the sponge now, however!

Here's my little chubba lubba on his 3 month birthday! He's unofficially 18.5# and 25 inches long! He doesn't have another doctor appointment until Feb 1.

His birthmom and I recently came to the brilliant idea of her tagging herself in FB pictures that she wants! It's been way easier than guessing which ones she might like.

I am so happy to be Heath's mommy! I cannot believe how quickly he is growing and changing! It's really too bad the waiting didn't go this fast :-)

Santa!

Back to Work

I went back to work on 11/29. It was Heath's first day with a babysitter. It was my birthday. As I hauled him and his stuff into the sitter's I "twinged" my back. I've pretty much been out of commission ever since. I missed the next two days of work due to not being able to move or stand without assistance. Then I worked 2 half days with a day off in between. I made 4 trips to the chiro (thank goodness for the HSA).

Mr H had to do all baby duty for about 1.5 weeks. I felt bad for him he was exhausted. WIth my back it was impossible to lift the baby without pain. I felt like such a rotten mother.

I'm mostly recovered now. The 17 year old is riding with me to and from daycare so he can haul the baby in and out. I hope that ends this week.

We got hit with the snow/ice/arctic temps over the weekend. We didn't leave the house at all. I had the baby so bundled up this morning I'm shocked he could breathe. It's predicted for -30 tonight!

Heath is growing like crazy. He will fit in something one day and the next day it's too small! With it being so cold I'm pretty much keeping him in sleepers constantly.

I finally got our Christmas cards done. Now I just have to wait for them to arrive.

I've been thinking about MC a lot. I sent her a 2 mo update and some more photos. We're done paying her expenses now. From her FB posts she seems to be doing well. She did have a "down" post one day. I emailed and let her know how much she means to us, how much we love the baby, and how often we think of her. She said it helped. I wish we had more back and forth contact with her than we do. She mainly texts and posts to FB with her phone. She's not a letter writer or an emailer.

I've been torn as to what to do about Christmas with her and the birthfather. Gifts. No Gifts. Ugh. I just don't know!

2 Months Old

Somebody is growing way too fast for his Mommy!

He's 12.9 lbs now and 23.75" long! He's awake a lot more but is still a sweet, mellow, chilled out baby! People marvel at him!

I went back to work on Monday. I threw my back out that same day. I spent the rest of the week at home inert. Mr H had to do all the baby duties all the time (along with taking care of me duties)! I was in so much pain physically, plus I couldn't pick the little bugger up or hold him for very long without aggravating it. I hope I'll be better by Monday.

A girl at work's mom is watching him the few hours a week I work. It's really ideal. I love my job but I'm not sure how long I'll last. I really miss my punkin when I'm gone!